whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize