4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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