Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize