Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
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