But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
grandma shit on top of the toilet
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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