normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
