I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
