We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
