I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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