It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
