we have officially lost it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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