They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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