He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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