they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
