I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
