That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
