You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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