I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
