I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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