Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
