I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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