is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
