i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
