I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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