I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
handjob tips. give me some.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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