I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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