Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
