I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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