you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
