He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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