I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
