her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
