if i can run in heels then i can drive
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
