There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I will pee on everything he values.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
