and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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