The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How external is "for external use only"?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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