who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
