I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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