Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize