oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
