Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
