my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
