I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think i have two assholes
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
