Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
