Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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