Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
