I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
