hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
