well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
