so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize