life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
