Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
