There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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