Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
