She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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