I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize
