I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
