Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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