We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
