After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
