Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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