that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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