Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
