Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
