Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
