Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
